Thursday, May 22, 2014

The 2 lessons with a high price

Everything comes at a price. This is one of the first things i had to learn in life, and at such a young age. This lesson was followed by "dont take anything for granted". I honestly thought i understood them but, i never did.
Im young and am filled with my ambitions as with my dreams and goals. Although i have always been misunderstood as a person, or judged wrongly in a short time by others. When strangers meet me, i trust them more and so i talk more giving my secrets or giving my real opinion. The reason for this is simple. They are strangers. I will probaby never see them again and if i do, i dont care what they think about me, they are strangers. Yet the strangers to whom i open up too tend to understand me better than those who ive known for years. An example is my whole family. In their eyes im dumb, clumsy, weird and different. As i give a opinion about something and its not in tune to society their face recoils from me. And so they are the ones that hold a false opinion about me, stating they have me figured out when i havent truly said anything yet. So i find myself trusting a stranger more as i find a better friend there than in my family who apparently hold the right for judgement upon me.

Everything comes at a price. I seek comfort in a stranger and am rewarded by the loneliness that comes after by going back home. I go home where i feel chained, a home that isnt mine, to a family who im in thier way. The price i pay is high fighting for my future. See im a dreamer, but more than i love my dreams i love making them come true. I love the look on everyones faces when i did the inposible and made it possible. I hope by this way i send the message across only i choose my limit. Only i choose whats imposible for me. And so im in the usa, living with my two uncles and their three kids, studying for my future. Where im here for this great oportunity i pay the price of solitude from understanding my soul. And so i learned my second lesson, never take anything for granted.
I miss my family. My mother who was my best friend, the person who i could talk to and give me hugd and kisses filled with love. The affection i havent received any longer. My dad who would spoil me from time to time just for being his princess and the one who i would make my eveil schemes with. The care im surronded by but only passes me to give me a slap in the face as a reminder of my price. My brother who was my brother and fought with, played with,even felt cherished by and looked up too like any older sibling. The respect and friendship i gave up for my dream.
Usually reaching this point, the stranger asks me what is my dream? As secretly asking, is my dream worth it? I never answer telling what my dream is but i tell them this;
    Does it matter what my dream is? Isnt any dream worth any sacrifice if i believe in it? By me beliving in it, i give it importance, i give it life.
     In the end, the stranger understands who i am and doesnt comment on it but looks me in the eye as if he has solved a mystery that he didnt know existed. These moments are were they bid their farewells. They tell me its a fact i  will reach high and are glad to have talked to me for i am a great person. They understand why im misunderstood and the gift they give me for being a stranger.

  I always thought how it was funny. Funny the fact a stranger would help ease my pain from paying my price, while my family who loves me,is the one collecting It.

P.s. please leave a comment and let me known what you think.
                                 Gabriela barrera The fool

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