No matter where Ill go-home is always there with me.

Finding myself distraught over believing I didn't have a home before, I find it funny to look back and understand what "home" really is to me and how I could never potentially not be home ever again.

I try to look back to the moments I lived with my immediate family and compare it to how I am living in my uncles house. There are differences obviously and the impact of this took me a year and a half to cope with, understand and be in harmony with. Yet I can't remember those main details of what made it different however, I can remember my theory behind it. In my parents house I was free to be myself but limited in going out and in my uncles house that freedom was solemnly reduced or modified but my ability to go out increased. 

Anyhow I was sad since noticing I was homeless. When I left for the summer to visit my family, at first I thought I was going back home but noticed I would never go back to live there again. My love for my family didn't change and everything was the same-but that was the problem, I had changed. My uncles house was nice and so were my cousins but  from the start was not my home- just temporary while I finished my last two years of high school and later moved out for college. I had a feeling of simple drifting- I had no place where to belong and where call home yet, I had a place to go back to. 

Now a year and a half  later of sorting it out ,on a random day I woke up whole. I understood that home is me-my freedom and ability to express myself, meet my needs, is literally my mind, body and soul. I don't need a building to be home, home follows me and my loved ones are fine without me being physically there for them all the time. 

I don't feel loneliness because I have the support of my friends and family knowing full well if I ever need anything they are there. My old sense of drifting was replaced by a sense of wholesomeness that makes me not care where I go or where I am because no matter what I'm always home. It changed my whole outlook on life-where I was looking at colleges considering cities, climates and miles away from family- I now don't care. 

My definition of "home" changed drastically where I no longer feel lonely and think it'll be hard for me to feel loneliness again. It gives a whole other degree of power to myself because I am now capable of going anywhere and in that moment-belong there. I now know just as i lived in my parents house the person I was back then belonged there but not who I am now. I will however always belong to myself , my loved ones and no place  or structure will limit me otherwise.

I am free and I am Home.