Im a very introverted type of person who loves to read books, eat, watch netflix, workout once in a while and have fun with my friends. By fun I mean go watch movies, have movie nights and go to downtown L.A. on a two hour bus ride to explore its far remote places. We call this our adventure streak, visiting little india, little tokyo, korea town and as much cultures or crazy places we have heard of. As to party's I have only attended family planned ones and friends based as well but these are rare. Im the girl who is way to shy to meet new people so I find a place to hide during the event while I patiently wait for my companions to be satisfied and go home. Lets not forget the drinking, in my life ive only gotten "buzzed" twice and neither event did I feel sick the next day, puke or make a complete full of myself. Not the definition of drunk or fun friend.
So far I have been in love once and this was when I was in middle school-obese, no idea what to do with my hair, didn't know what a hair straightner was and to put the cherry on the cake, depressed. Somehow the one I "loved" back then liked me back and even when out and confessed to me but, told me he didn't want to go out with me. This confused me, normally when two people have mutual feelings dont they start dating?
Fast forward five years later and he is my best friend, Ive lost wheight, learned hairstyles and become more confident in myself. The small girl grew and now boys ask me out but I have never fallen in love again. I have not found someone to make me want me to let go completely. I have not found that person that makes me want to put my whole life on hold just so he could say my name.
Now unfortunately for me, i am introvert and shy so I don't speak my mind. For the guys i am, quote "a mystery waiting to be solved" end quote. It seems this attracts them to me, my mind, my real thoughts and seemingly my flower which hasn't blommed for anyone. Well god, forgive me for believing in monogomy.
So i have met great guys who want to hear what I have to say and its has gotten to the point where my words hold value for these people. These precious people who have become precious friends. I have no doubt they would run to help me, if I ever asked that is. They know me, and know I am strong despite my looks, loyal despite my past and stubborn despite being open minded. I have not only earned my place in their hearts but proved throughout time I will not betray them. Ever.
I have also met guys who only want to "bang" me which in my opinion is very cliche as I haven't loved any other despite many telling me they do. That is love me. Please.
Once there was a man, late 30's early 40's max who I met in a bookstore. He was attractive and very friendly asking for my opinion over some issues. He heard of me from my previous clients at the bookstore who informed him I was very conected and the messages always clear. Anyways, i was surprised he wanted to date me. I was simply surprised someone with so much knowledge ad expereince even considered dating me, never mind the age difference.
Life has surprises. Who would think after falling in love once I wouldn't fall in love again? Or that many would claim to "love" me but i never believed them? Its crazier after how I turned down these people and they decide to stay in my life as my closest friends? This is who I am but its this part of me is also eternal despite the changes that occur.
Whats your story with life and love?
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